The Science of Mentorship

Bethany Brookshire (00:11):
As we've discussed throughout this podcast, effective mentorship in STEMM requires that mentors acknowledge mentees as people, as individuals. As our society and culture evolves, STEMM professionals priorities and expectations for their lives change too. This is the science of mentorship. Podcasts from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine that explores the mentoring skills that can and should be learned to unleash everyone's potential in science, technology, engineering, mathematics, and medicine, or STEMM careers. I'm Bethany Brookshire. After our last episode, I found that many STEMM professionals want to make sure their family doesn't take a backseat to their career. In season one of the science of mentorship, Dr. Akiko Iwasaki talked about her experiences with parenthood, how it was perceived within science, and her efforts to change that perception in her own lab.
Dr. Akiko Iwasaki (01:03):
So women, especially during childbearing age tend to be dropping out of science, not because they want to but because they have very little support. Some women are being told not to get pregnant in order to succeed. And so I just want to make a culture, at least within my own lab that pregnancy, child care and all that is available to them. The support at least for that is available to them. And that I want to make my lab a place where women and men find parenting a fun thing to do in addition to science. Because I find that having had two children myself, that being a mother is one of the most wonderful thing that I've experienced. And it actually helps me to do science because it provides me this happiness at home that is a fuel that I use. Sometimes science can be very tough and having this sort of warmth and being able to be a mother to children at home is really a driving force for my science.
Bethany Brookshire (02:18):
For current students and postdocs in STEMM, family life often takes an important role, one that may be unusual for their mentors. Nicole Benally an Alaska native, working on her PhD in forestry at the University of Montana was surprised by her advisor's reaction to her role as a mother.
Nicole Benally (02:35):
I came in as a graduate student as a parent. For me priority was my child and my family. It wasn't my research project. And I had to learn, or my partner and I since we both did our masters together, we both had to learn how to balance both being a parent and a student. And I actually did have a conversation with my advisor just about our mentoring relationship too so just I can get things rolling. And she said that was also something new. It wasn't that I was a woman, graduate student. It wasn't that I was native American first-generation, it was she never had a student that had, I guess, more of the parent responsibilities.
Bethany Brookshire (03:16):
Even today, mentors might expect that more traditional family roles of the past with a full-time caregiver at home should still govern the work life of young professionals.
Nicole Benally (03:26):
Like she had other female students and she had other male students and they had kids, but then they also had a full-time mother at home so they could still do the graduate student research and duties. So it was really, I think, challenging I guess for her to understand the needs of a parent from the beginning or like to keep that as a priority.
Bethany Brookshire (03:49):
These expectations come from many different sides. From advisers to colleagues, to mentors, and they create pressure on STEMM students to match their priorities to these expectations. Nicole Benally felt those pressures from her lab mates who didn't have to get children to daycare every day.
Nicole Benally (04:05):
They were early birds. Like they were at the office like 7:00, 7:30. And that wasn't me. I don't know, I guess I could be an early bird or a night owl, but they were able to come into the office early and have that schedule. And I think that kind of put an expectation for me to be there. Like for me I felt like they're here so I have to be there too.
Bethany Brookshire (04:26):
This expectation that a graduate student's research should be their most important, if not only priority, results in lifestyles that new STEMM professionals are now questioning. Dr. Andrew Sabelhaus is a postdoc at Carnegie Mellon University. We heard from him in our last episode. Working long hours, seven days a week was pressed upon him while he earned a PhD from UC Berkeley. But he also saw the effects that the lack of work-life balance had on those around him.
Dr. Andrew Sabelhaus (04:58):
I heard it from members on my PhD committee. I heard it a little bit from my PhD advisor who said things like "Your funding runs out at this point, you need to get the robot walking by then." These are all reasonable things and they're reasonable for certain people. But at the same time, frankly speaking, two of my four committee members were divorced. One of them passed away of cancer while teaching basically because he prioritized doing that teaching and instruction work really just over interactions with his family. And I look at those things and I say, "That's not what I want. That's not my priorities. My priority is having a relationship with my partner."
Bethany Brookshire (05:39):
The pressure can force young STEMM professionals to make difficult choices, choices that could impact their careers or their relationships. Dealing with these choices is extremely challenging. Dr. Jeremy Waisome is an associate professor in the Department of Engineering Education at the University of Florida. When her research project had a stumbling block early in her career, she had to make a difficult decision that did not make her popular.
Dr. Jeremy Waisome (06:02):
I was working on developing a physical test to test asphalt materials. So we were developing repeated shear tests. And so we had to figure out how to design it, how to make sure that the forces were going where we wanted them to go, like all this stuff. And we got to the point where we designed the test that we thought would work. We send out the drawings and the concept to the manufacturer. They gave us back the drawings and said, "This is what you want." Got the green light. They said it would be six weeks, it took six months. I got to the point where I basically told my now husband like, "Hey, I don't know when I'm going to finish this thing. So I think we should just go ahead and get married.
So the device arrives the week of my wedding. And I had planned to not be there for obvious reasons. I distinctly remember making the decision to stay two extra days to make sure everything was fine with the device and all this stuff and take measurements. And we take it out of the box, everybody's super excited. I was also very excited. Like this is the beginning of the end for me. Right? And we take it out of the box. We do some measurements. We try to put a specimen in and realize it's been improperly machined. And I got blamed that it wasn't right. And I didn't know how to deal with that. So needless to say, I was like, "Okay, well, I'm leaving now. You all can deal with getting the manufacturer to fix this. I'm going to get married. I'm going to pretend like you all don't exist. And when I come back, this problem will probably still be here for me."
Bethany Brookshire (07:48):
Like Dr. Dr. Waisome, Dr. Sabelhaus chose to prioritize time with loved ones.
Dr. Andrew Sabelhaus (07:53):
And so, I don't do nights and weekends. And you know what? It seems to have worked out so far. And I'll get back to you after my tenure review comes, but I found a lot of ways around it. And I'm really happy with my decisions so far.
Bethany Brookshire (08:06):
While these situations can be challenging and stressful, having the right mentor, someone who is supportive and respectful can make an enormous difference. Nicole Benally struggled to balance her work and her family. So she took the initiative to bring her mentor on board.
Nicole Benally (08:24):
I think I was falling behind on expectation or deadlines. And then I finally just broke it down to her like, this is how my day goes. I would get up, get my daughter ready because we just had our daughter at the time. Take her to daycare, which we were fortunate to afford through scholarships at that time, and drop off our daughter. I can get to campus maybe nine o'clock for sure. But anything before would be a blessing, but you just never know. So I'll be available 9:00 to maybe 4:30 because I have to leave, pack up, walk to my car, and then drive to the daycare to pick her up before a certain time. Having that discussion early on of like, "this is when I can be available most times. If you want to meet earlier or after we need to set that ahead of time."
Bethany Brookshire (09:07):
Dr. Michael Green from UT Austin, who we heard from in a previous episode had a similarly positive experience.
Dr. Michael Green (09:14):
When I got married, my PI knew that I'm getting married, I'm going to need some time off for honeymoon. And we talked about it and we made a plan. Or when it came time that we wanted to have a baby, she knew about it. Not the beginning part, but once the baby arrived that I'm going to need time. She allowed me to essentially be an adult. Like having a family, completing a degree is sometimes out of the question. But a PI who's understanding or even one who's had some experience will be flexible. And I think the fact that I was allowed to do that speaks volumes about relationship to where I can get the work done, but also my wife who I love also much wants to continue on with our lives because they are separate things. My career and my family life.
Bethany Brookshire (10:06):
A career in STEMM shouldn't preclude a strong, healthy family life. And STEMM professionals who make family an important part of their lives help the entire STEMM ecosystem perform better for everyone. Effective mentors in STEMM should reflect on how their biases and prejudices may affect mentees and mentoring relationships, specifically for mentorship of people who make family a priority. At the same time, mentees should reflect on and acknowledge the influence of their identities on their academic and career trajectory and should seek mentorship that is intentional in considering their individual lived experiences.
In our next episode we're going to hear about what it means to build trust with your mentor, and how mentoring relationships should be a two way street. Until then, you can learn more about the science of effective mentoring in STEMM at nas.edu/mentoring. If you're enjoying the science of mentorship, please tell your friends, colleagues, students, teachers, and of course, your mentors and mentees about our podcast. And help others discover it by giving us a review on apple podcasts or wherever you listen. Thanks for listening.

SOM-Family-Final Transcript

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